ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
