Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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