I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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