Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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