My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
