I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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