It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Randomize
