Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
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WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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