The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
