You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
