I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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