It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
