I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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