If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
