I never want to see another naked old woman again.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just tell him i said nine months
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
