You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Michael Bay diarrhea
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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