halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
