Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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