i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
