um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
