shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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