Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
