I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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