4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize