Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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