are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
