The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
