good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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