xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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