so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?