Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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