U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
