I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
