You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
