You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
