At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
