I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
