i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize