I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
