She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
sex in a hospital.. check
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
