Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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