So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
