his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
