Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
