I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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