covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
