on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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