I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
