ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
