Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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