he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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