TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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