I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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