I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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