question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
high people should be assigned attendants
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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