since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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