i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
