one word: firstdatebathroomanal
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
