apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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