I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
