Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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