People in love make me want to vomit
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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