It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
