She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
