yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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