we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
