I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize