I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
