I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
