Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
