Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
